


Before This Song Ends

by namtaenabi



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 14:33:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7938244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/namtaenabi/pseuds/namtaenabi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can everything change in the span of one song? Can past wrongs be undone?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before This Song Ends

_From the corner of his eye Seunghoon can see Taehyun reaching for the microphone, ready to sing the last song of today’s set. It is a miracle that they made it to the last song without failing, amazing that his voice had remained so steady through every note. Seunghoon is also very proud of himself for not missing a single beat on his bass. At least the music is still the same._

  
  
It was those eyes of Taehyun’s that had been the problem from the very start. When he came in to the audition for a new sub-vocalist and guitarist in that bright red leather jacket of his, he had this air about him that said he was the natural choice even before having his performance. No one had said it or made the final decision, they had all just quietly agreed and welcomed the bright-eyed boy with the guitar into their band of misfits. That was how everything started, and how everything started to go downhill for them.

  
  
_First chorus now, and Taehyun does that little nod of his head that Seunghoon finds so hot, the little nod that sends his blonde mane cascading over his face.  
_

__  
Taehyun does the same thing when they make love and he wants to be a tease.  
  


  
All it takes is two weeks of late-night practices, stolen looks and subtle hints of interest before Seunghoon has Taehyun pinned against the wall in their practice room. Their lips locked together, a faint whiff of alcohol in the air.

  
After that no one questions that they are a couple, just like no one questioned Taehyun joining the band. Nor does Seunghoon question Taehyun when he shows up at the doorstep with a giant bag and his guitar asking if he can stay.

  
Of course he can stay. It feels natural and better to be together.

  
Before Seunghoon can even think properly over half of the drawers in his dresser are filled with Taehyun’s clothes and that red leather jacket always hangs over a chair as if it has always been there. The bathroom has two toothbrushes, the bed has two pillows and wrinkled sheets constantly. Seunghoon, who is more used to avoiding home than being there finds a new love of just staying in, sprawled on bed as Taehyun tries out new tunes on his guitar. Everything was nice and warm and comfortable then, even if sometimes Taehyun would seem distant and distracted by his own thoughts.

  
It was on the day that jacket went missing that things started to go wrong.

  
  
_Their eyes meet despite the bright light on stage and Seunghoon actually misses his cue as he notices the badly covered bruise on Taehyun’s lips. He is singing the second verse now, and soon there will be no more song or music to keep them at bay. Minho is uneasy as well, that much Seunghoon can tell by the slight wavering drums. As he should.  
_

__  
This is partially his fault.  


 __  
Just like it is Taehyun’s fault, Seungyoon’s fault and Jinwoo’s fault. Perhaps he is a bit at fault too in this, but Seunghoon feels more like the victim. It is his heart that went down the drain with a bottle of whiskey and a drunken confession.  


_  
To be quite honest, it is a miracle they can hold it together without breaking apart. Their band of misfits was forever changed ever since they first saw that red leather jacket._

  
  
Two months in and Seunghoon notices with a strange satisfaction that something in Taehyun seems to be as broken and fragile as certain parts of his own self. They feel like two of a kind, and he wishes he could somehow fix the broken.

  
Perhaps they can even fix each other?

  
But how can he do that? Just like Taehyun, he has his broken parts that are so fragile and poorly glued together they might shatter at any time. Up till now these parts have not been possible to mend, so aren’t chances bigger things might just get worse?

  
Seunghoon is scared the life he lives now will fall apart, scared of what he will do when the fine bond between the five of them is broken. With the way things are going now, he knows it is bound to happen, just like it has happened every single time he finds a place he believes is home. Even if it sometimes feels like Taehyun is slowly putting him back together to a whole.

  
Of course, this is his secret. Seunghoon is not the kind to talk about hurtful things, rather the type to crack a joke, light a cigarette and tell whoever is prying to fuck off. That’s how it has always been. Jinwoo might have an idea, since they have known each other the longest, but he isn’t one to talk about things like that either. Not with Seunghoon at least.

  
  
_The crowd is cheering at Seungyoon’s guitar solo. Their screaming makes Seunghoon’s ears ring and something about it makes him think about what had happened before. Was this screaming also loud enough to break things?_

  
  
Seunghoon has a feeling that it was his heart that screamed too loud at Taehyun that caused disaster. He was clinging on too badly, wanting to be fixed, wanting to be loved. Was that what scared him away? Was that why the red leather jacket was whisked away from him?

  
Was that why Taehyun gave it to Minho instead?

  
  
_The solo is over, and Seunghoon sends Seungyoon a look saying that it’s things are fine now. Things will be fine, only they won’t.  
_

_  
Once the song ends they are bound to fall apart, another bond will be shattered and Seunghoon will be on his own again._

  
  
He never asked how long it had been going on, he never could bring himself to ask anything about it. All he was sure of was that Taehyun and Minho had a spin in the practice room. Hair was too ruffled and they wore too little clothes when he walked in on them.

  
There was that red leather jacket too, casually thrown over one of Minho’s spare drums. It looked just as much as home there as it did in Seunghoon’s apartment, and he had a feeling like it had been there more than once.

  
He couldn’t really remember what happened that day, but he knew he punched Taehyun in a way that was bound to bruise. It hurt him more than it hurt Taehyun, because punching the one person he truly cared for felt like breaking a part of his own heart.

  
Since they are all misfits, Seunghoon isn’t mad. Not in a very visible way. You can only tell by the pile of Taehyun’s stuff outside his apartment and the way all silent agreements are broken. There is also a new kind of silence in the room when all five of them gather, and Seungyoon announces tonight’s live is the last before he has to go back home for a while. No explanation, just that this is the last live he has gotten them for a while.

  
It seems like a lie made up for the sake of all of them. Maybe he knew without asking? Or perhaps Jinwoo told him about it all, about how he walked in on the three and the wreckage they made. If that is the case then Seunghoon can understand. What leader wants a drummer and a bassist that cannot even see eye to eye, a vocalist that only makes trouble within the band and a bunch of misfits who has let go of their rules?

  
  
_The final verse now and again Seunghoon meets Taehyun’s eyes. Only this time they keep looking, as if Taehyun is trying to reach out and tie back together the bond between them he cut when he left his jacket on Minho’s drum.  
_

_  
Only Seunghoon isn’t sure he wants to tie that bond back together. He is hurt and angry, and he isn’t a person known for giving second chances. But Taehyun looks so needy, almost desperate. Shouldn’t that matter for something?_

  
  
The song is over.

  
Minho is walking towards Seunghoon with a face that shows he has something he wants to say, but what is the point in listening? This is their last live, he doesn’t have Taehyun anymore, he doesn’t have anything anymore.

  
“Nothing happened, silly.”

  
Taehyun’s voice is loud and clear, all of them hear it and all of them turn towards the sound of it. Nothing happened?

  
“Nothing happened.” Minho is joining in, awkwardly twitching his drumsticks in his hands.

  
“Nothing happened?” All his past wounds have opened and are hurting, they tell him not to believe in any of this. What if he is betrayed again?

  
“Nothing happened?” he cannot recognize his own voice, it sounds too strange and raspy. Why has he been so mad if nothing happened?

  
“Nothing happened.” Taehyun repeats the words and slips that red leather jacket of his over Seunghoon’s shoulders.

  
_The song is over, but they are not. Seunghoon hadn’t made Taehyun kill him, and now he’d wear his jacket for the longest time._

**Author's Note:**

> This short fic is inspired by the poem Little Beast pt. 7 by Richard Siken and loosely based on Winner’s EXIT teasers. It was written for iridae@LJ for the WINNER 2016 Fanfiction Exchange.


End file.
